Two Quickies
Posted by zb on June 9, 2003 11:11 PM

Here's two quick entries from the "Huh??" category. First is
this one from amazon.com's shipping and delivery estimates page.

Um, who actually needs that graphic? Am I supposed to believe that anyone who might actually not have gotten the concept on their own was actually capable of placing the order in the first place?

Here's the other one, and I'm telling you, I don't know that I can even come up with something sarcastically funny to say about this one. I mean, it's just plain absurd. A patent on the wheel?? What's going on in the Patent Office? I mean, talk about prior art!

Cool TV news
Posted by zb on June 9, 2003 4:19 PM

Ok, maybe this isn't news to those of you still in the US, but I just found out and it's pretty cool in my opinion. Click here.

How cool is that?

Too bad no one really cares...
Posted by zb on May 20, 2003 11:37 PM

So, it looks like some moron got his IT stolen. You can also have a look at the police report.

Surely you remember the big craze two or three years ago, when info started leaking out about the "fantastic new thing" that was going to "completely change the way cities are designed" but subsequently utterly failed to impress anyone except the people at the post office and various other people who have demonstrably too much money? (Oh, but don't worry about those stamp prices, the postal service is getting a discount....of some sort.) No doubt you'll also remember how we all called it the IT, then Ginger, and we were convinced it was going to actually mean something. But when it came out, we had to call it the Segway Human Transporter, which is just a synonym for "fancy scooter with a gyroscope and no readily obvious reason why someone should want to use one when they're perfectly capable of walking as fast or riding a cheaper bike even faster." Oh, and don't forget the part where it's only available for purchase from amazon.com. What's that all about?

Two extra points if you noticed that the names in the two links are different. Two more points if you noticed that, while the people who posted the police report made sure we couldn't get the dude's telephone number, anyone who cares to have a look now knows exactly where he lives. But the big bonus goes to the people who noticed that the word "unique" in the phrase "unique two wheeled walking machine" was put in as an afterthought. As though the guy was standing there telling the cops "But I'm special! I'm the only one in town who has one! It's unique, I tell you! Put that in there! Put in there that it's unique."

I wonder if anyone other than this guy (and the people who spent in excess of $100,000 each for the "official" first three ever) are actually interested in these things. I believe this quote from slashdot sums it up pretty nicely: "Here it is! Right where I left it, in the pile of stupid, overhyped inventions!". This particular one was probably stolen by a band of this guy's neighbors who'd gotten sick of him riding pretentiously around town on the thing. I mean, the IT.

I don't get England.
Posted by zb on May 14, 2003 9:12 PM

Ever wonder or think about what sort of things get discussed in the British House of Lords? No? Unsurprising. I, on the other hand, have, as I've been told it's really rather amusing. For instance, one of the members, a Baroness, has the last name "Strange."

Interestingly enough, though, this has nothing to do with my actual poing, which was, you'll recall, what they actually talk about. Continue reading for a short exerpt. Maybe you'll enjoy it as much as I did.

Rainbow-back?
Posted by zb on May 13, 2003 8:10 PM

This is stupid. American money should be green. None of this silly European "money should be colorful" nonsense! Yes, I realize it's still mostly green, but in by opinion, this is barely money. Here's a guy who agrees with me, but sadly he uses the word "icky" in his article, which neatly destroys any credibility he may previously have had.

On an unrelated note, this is just plain funny. Oh, come on, it is! I'm going to make a few comments now in the "Read More" section, but I want you to read the article first. Yes, yes, I know, you'd rather hear my comments first. Well, sorry. Read the article. Ready? Ok.

Veggieburg???
Posted by zb on May 5, 2003 2:27 PM

So, apparently there's a town near Buffalo, NY that's called Hamburg. I didn't know this. (Astute readers might mention at this point that there's also one in Germany. I wonder if the following has also happened to them.) It's been called Hamburg for a long time, since 1812. But now, according to the couple-of-weeks-old article I'm going to link to at the end of this little rant, A Particular Group Of People want that to change.

They're prepared to make the city an offer, too. They're going to offer $15,000. Or, stated more correctly, the equivalent of $15,000. To the city's schools. In non-meat patties. Which they seem to be under the impression that the students in the city's schools would enjoy eating. And all this, because they don't like the name. So, what would they prefer the city to be called, you ask? Veggieburg, of course! According to Joe Haptas, a spokesman for The Group, "the town's name conjures up visions of unhealthy patties of ground-up dead cows." Thankfully, Hamburg officially declined.

But, just when you thought you'd heard something incredibly odd, I'm going to tell you that something really incredibly odd happened several years ago.

Now, any of you who have traveled at all in upstate New York, particularly in the Hudson Valley, have noticed that a lot of place names there end in the word "kill." There's a perfectly logical explanation for this, too. It's Dutch for "stream." The area was settled by Dutch. See? It makes sense.

Well, the small Hudson Valley town of Fishkill received way back in 1996 a request, from the same Particular Group Of People, to change its name to Fishsave, because the original name "conjured up violent imagery of dead fish." I, on the other hand, feel the Particular Group should change its name to Pathetic Whiners.

So, who's responsible for all of this nonsense? Go on, take a guess. You're probably right. I'd just like someone to tell me where all of their vegetables magically appear from.

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